Waggles

In the days after Kate was murdered, I was overwhelmed with depression. I was even lonelier than before. I felt like I was moving in slow motion like in my dream. I didn’t enjoy anything. I even stopped playing the piano. I tried to talk myself out of my misery. Every day I waited impatiently for the mail. I couldn’t understand why Aunt Pearl didn’t answer my letter. I tied to convince myself that Aunt Pearl would come and get me and when she did I would sit her down and play her the song I had written for her. I looked at the old upright piano. It seemed to be inviting me to sit down and play. I had taken one step toward it when I heard Ivy’s screams.
I ran to the front porch. I could see Ivy standing by the branch. The branch was a shallow little tributary of Pungo Creek filled with snakes and cattails that separated our house from Uncle Benjamin's She was waving her arms and screaming. My first thought was that she had been bitten by a water moccasin.

Forgetting the piano I hurried to my sister’s side. “Ivy, what’s wrong?”

“Waggles went in the branch! We have to save him!”

Ivy loved Waggles almost as much as I did and the little dog faithfully shared his affection with both of us. He was always at the mailbox waiting for us with his tail wagging furiously when we got off the school bus. At night he shuttled between Ivy’s bed and mine. No matter how bad things got Waggles could always cheer me up. He seemed to know just the right time to lick my face or nuzzle my ear.

“Ivy. It’s okay. He’s probably just chasing a rabbit. He’ll be fine. Be quiet before you get Mama all riled up.

Too late. I heard a crash from inside the house followed by a string of curses. “Shit! God damn it! Shit.”

Mama limped through the door still swearing. “Ivy Estelle. What in the hell are you yelling about? You better be dying because if you ain’t you’re going to wish you were.”

“It’s all right, Mama. Waggles ran into the branch but Clara said he was just chasing a rabbit and he’ll be fine.”

Attracted by the shouts and screams, Aunt Sarah came to the door with Laika on her hip. “What is the matter, Rose?”

“I broke my damn toe, that’s what the matter is. I caught it under that damn carpet you insisted on putting down.”

Just then Waggles emerged from the branch and ran toward me with his tail wagging, unaware of the trouble he had caused.

Mama didn’t say a word. She turned and hobbled into the house. Less than a minute later she came back holding the shotgun. She lifted the gun, aimed and shot Waggles right in the head. Then she turned around and, using the shotgun as a crutch, limped back into the house.

Blood poured from a gapping hole in the side of his head. His eyes were open. For a moment I was too stunned to move. Blood spilled out onto the ground. Then, instinctively, I picked up his limp body and carried him toward the mimosa tree, ignoring the blood that was staining my dress. I placed him carefully under the tree. I began digging a shallow grave with my bare hands. Ivy tried to help me but I angrily pushed her away. “If you hadn’t been such a baby this wouldn’t have happened. Go away! Leave me alone! This is all your fault.”

I clawed at the ground until my fingers bled but I didn’t stop until the hole was deep enough. I took Waggles in my arms and rubbed my face against his. “I’m so sorry, Waggles. I am so sorry.” My tears mixed with the earth as I carefully placed him in the hole and covered him. I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore then I stretched out on the ground next to Waggle’s grave. A sense of peace came over me and I slept.